"Dad!  Who goes first tonight?", came the shout from the living room.  It was time to brush teeth before bed.  Often we play "the number game" in order to determine who goes first - pick a number from 1 to 15, closest gets to go last.

Tonight I remembered today's Play of the Day on the All Pro Dad blog which was about sibling rivalry.  In the post is mention of 10 ways to curb sibling rivalry.  With 3, um, somewhat active young boys in my household I am intimate with this topic.  So I was pretty pleased with myself when I realized that there are several on the list that we already do around here.

I especially noticed #4 on the list - "Step aside Clyde".  I noticed it mainly because it's something I do with the boys quite frequently.  Quoting from the list:

"Sometimes you just need to butt out. A parent can’t resolve every issue. When siblings are fighting, just walk away. In fact, tell them to take their argument outside.  They need to learn to resolve their own conflicts. Just make sure nobody takes a golf club upside the head."

What a perfect opportunity to exercise this method, figuring out who's going first to brush teeth!  Real-world application, same day.  Yes!  It went down something like this:

"Dad! Who goes first tonight?" Braden yells.

"You guys figure it out.  I'll give you 30 seconds.  If you can't do it yourselves in 30 seconds then I'm going to figure it out for you!"  I replied.

[so exits our hero to the bedroom listening to the collective bargaining in the living room]

[20(ish) seconds elapse, and Brennan's reaching in the cupboard where the toothbrushing gear is stored]

"What are you doing?" I asked him.

"Brushing my teeth," he said rolling his eyes at me.  I'm sure he was also thinking, "What does it look like I'm doing?".

"Did you volunteer to go first?" I asked, feeling somewhat proud of him.

"Uh-huh.  We figured it out, oldest to youngest."

"You guys figured that out all on your own?" I asked.

"Yeah, oldest to youngest."

And so it went that they calmly, peacefully (really!) took their respective turns brushing their teeth tonight - oldest to youngest.  Much more calmly and peacefully than when Erin and I determine who's turn it is ourselves.  Give a kid a chance.

Too often we don't give them enough credit for what they are really capable of.  Yes, I know figuring out who goes first is not that big of a deal in the grand scheme of things.  But it was tonight for my guys.  Get out of the way.  Let them make some choices, and be there to help guide if it's necessary.  They might just surprise you!  And give them a reward when they excel.  Each spending jar was padded with a nice shiny quarter for the great way they worked together tonight!